Have you become obsessed about your baby’ sleep? Do you feel weak because you can’t bear to leave your baby to cry himself to sleep? Are you anxious about the impact of sleep training regimes such as controlled crying?
Relax!
You CAN get your life back ! Pinky offers you gentle strategies that will help your baby (and you!) sleep soundly. For more specific information, Pinky recommends reading her book ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’. She is also available for phone or private consultations.
"I read your sleep book whilst I was pregnant with Finnegan last year (born on the 03.11.2007) and attended your seminar afterwards in Castlehill. I found EVERYTHING you had to say even more valuable after Finn was born! And I could put it all into practice. Since he was born he has been ‘sleeping like a baby’ as we ‘listen’ to his cues and needs. I am getting more sleep since he was born than when I was pregnant!" Katherine Beaumont
The con of controlled crying
by Pinky McKay
Although many baby sleep trainers claim there is no evidence of harm from practices such as controlled crying, it is worth noting that there is a vast difference between ‘no evidence of harm’ and ‘evidence of no harm’.
A policy statement on controlled crying issued by the Australian Association of Infant Mental Health (AAIMHI) advises, ‘Controlled crying is not consistent with what infants need for their optimal emotional and psychological health, and may have unintended negative consequences.’ According to AAIMHI, ‘There have been no studies, such as sleep laboratory studies, to our knowledge, that assess the physiological stress levels of infants who undergo controlled crying, or its emotional or psychological impact on the developing child.’
Sweet Dreams – Pinky's top tips to help your baby (and you!) sleep better
Just like us, babies are individuals –and this goes for sleep requirements too. It may help (or not, if you are suffering from sleep deprivation) to realise that in most infant sleep studies, ‘all night’ is defined as five hours. If you are thinking that even five hours uninterrupted sleep would be a dream come true, there are some gentle strategies you can try to help your baby, and you, to sleep better.
Know the signs – None of us like being kept awake when we are craving sleep, so rather than waiting until your baby is ‘past it’, put her to bed as soon as she shows sleepy signs such as becoming quiet, yawning, making “jerky” movements, losing interest in people and toys, and fussing. If you miss this window of opportunity, your baby is likely to become grumpy and find it difficult to settle.
When my own babies were small, neither social ideology nor wakeful babies caused me a lack of sleep – my babies slept snuggled up with me at night. My choice to co-sleep wasn’t based on research studies, it was simply ‘best practice’ for our family - or, where we all got the most sleep. Now there is a plethora of research about infant sleep and I find it fascinating to compare this to my own experience: read – have my childrearing choices conveyed lasting benefits?
Recently, as I searched for some long term evidence of the benefits of parent-infant co-sleeping, I came across a study of college age subjects which found that males who had co-slept with their parents between birth and five years not only had significantly higher self esteem, they experienced less guilt and anxiety and reported greater frequency of sex.
Your toddler’s delaying tactics at bedtime – needing a drink, one more kiss, a lost toy – are her way of saying, ‘I really want you to stay with me.’ From a toddler’s perspective, it may be difficult to relax and fall asleep if she feels stressed about being left in her room alone, especially if she can hear adults having fun (talking, watching television) in another part of the house. Consider also if this is the only time of her – and your – busy day that your little one has your undivided attention. If this is the case, try to spend more one-on-one time with her during the day so her needs aren’t so intense at bedtime. If she spends her day in child care, try to have some special time together when you pick her up.
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