Banner
Banner
Are you:

  • expecting a baby and trying to wade through a maze of information?

  • home alone with your newborn (and no buzzer to call a midwife for help)?

  • feeling confused by conflicting advice?

  • desperately seeking sleep? 

Are you wondering, which information can I trust? Will I be able to breastfeed? What is the best way to help my baby sleep? How do we calm our baby when he cries –and cries?

Are you walking the floor trying to soothe your baby, with tears streaming down your own face as you worry, am I losing my milk?  Is he sick?  Why am I crying too?  Could I have postnatal depression? 

Your feelings of inadequacy and panic could see you arguing with your partner over what is best – should we leave our baby to cry?  If we cuddle him too much, are we creating ‘bad habits’? It seems that everybody you meet has an opinion – about YOUR baby!

As your own stress levels escalate and you become increasingly confused by conflicting advice, you enter a vicious cycle – your own confidence plummets, every comment (even by perfect strangers) rattles around in your head and you begin to feel more and more confused. This confusion affects how you make parenting choices, how you relate to your baby, your partner relationship and your own well-being.

The last few weeks have seen me have more breakdowns than I had when suffering from PND, I felt stressed, trapped, lost, overtired, confused, anxious and almost resentful towards my number one son. I was getting very worried that with dealing with a newborn at night plus my son getting up at night that it would lead me straight back down the path to PND; something I am determined never to experience again. (That’s a different story) To me, there was no way out of what seemed to lay ahead. Finally someone has stopped, heard me and listened to me about my concerns.
– Vicky, mother of a 19 month old and a newborn


Have you planned beyond your baby’s birth?

You have planned long and hard to become parents; you have carefully planned how and where you want to give birth and you have carefully selected your carers. But, have you planned support for parenting your baby?

Giving birth is your first step into the unknown for the love of your child. By making careful choices about your carers and your birthplace, you are entering your journey as parents responsibly, with strength. However, there are many more steps along this amazing journey.

It is equally important to prepare for your life after the birth of your baby. For instance, what parenting styles will feel most comfortable for you? How will you share the care of your baby with your partner?  And, what support will you need to ease the transition from independent, confident woman to hormonally fragile, exhausted new mother trying to meet the unrelenting needs of a vulnerable newborn?  Even if you are not the partner giving birth, you too can expect to feel equally helpless as you are affected by sleep deprivation and the overwhelming responsibility of supporting the new mother (but not being able to ‘fix it’ when she cries or rages at you –and please don’t think this only happens to couples who don’t have a ‘strong’ relationship).

 

Why not hire a mentor or personal parenting coach?

In every other aspect of your life whether it is in regards to professional development, fitness, or finances, you seek out role models, trainers and mentors.  Wouldn’t you feel much better if you could have a nurturing mentor to help you adapt to your new role as parents?  Somebody who can light your way through a dark tunnel of confusion and overwhelm; somebody who isn’t judgemental yet can look at the situation with fresh eyes and a wealth of experience and training; somebody calm and gentle who can help you see the wood from the trees and who will really listen to you; somebody who can teach you some simple strategies that will have you feeling calm, confident and ‘in charge’ and that YOU are the expert about YOUR precious newborn? 

I wanted to pass on heartfelt thanks for the wonderful support you have provided to our family. You have given me the most amazing gift - the confidence to mother intuitively and to know what's best for me and my baby. I had received lots of advice from hospital midwives and lactation consultants regarding breastfeeding. I had been unlucky, having two bouts of mastitis and then my baby failing to gain weight as quickly as expected. I was getting pressure from the hospital and later my maternal and child health nurse, to consider formula top-ups, which I only wanted to do as a last resort. I found that while there is lots of promoting 'breast is best', there are also many interactions new mums have in both health and social arenas that undermine confidence and make you doubt the ability to breastfeed exclusively.

Ever since you visited our family, my experience of breastfeeding and confidence as a mum has improved exponentially. I enjoy feeding now and have no discomfort. But more importantly, I now trust that my baby is receiving all the nourishment and comfort she needs from me

I am learning to relax, trust and cherish this special time. Thanks to your support, I now have a number of strategies to ensure that my baby thrives. So on behalf of the Alexander family, many thanks for your generosity, insight and practical advice. I was touched that you followed up with me on more than one occasion to see how we were going. You made a real difference for us and we will be forever grateful for the time and energy you invested in getting us to such a positive place.

Many thanks,

Catherine, Jason and baby Sasha.
 
Thanks so much for your visit yesterday. It was really good to receive the reassurance that I am on the right track to managing the feeding/sleeping challenges a newborn brings and that all my insecurities are normal for a “new” Mum. I feel like such a rookie after an almost 6 year gap between my sons! You’d never think that I’d already had one child!! Your tips and advice were really encouraging and I especially liked your attitude that whatever worked for our household  was the “right” way to do things – so refreshing after reading/hearing so many “dos and don’ts” from various sources that my head was spinning.
– Lia Henry, Melbourne